Love Knows No Bounds
by daniellaanddaphne
Summary: <html><head></head>A sort of prequel to Seconds and Minutes of Time. When your love knows no bounds, can something so utterly broken still be repaired or will it finally cure you of your stubborn belief on love?  FABERRY</html>


**A/N: I do not own Glee.**

There had been times when I could not comprehend how I got to this point. I was the head cheerleader for crying out loud! I had dated two quarterbacks in high school. I was a part of a national cheerleading champion squad and national show choir champion. I was a straight a student to top all of my extra-curricular. I am blonde but not dumb. I have a figure that could make any grown man cry. I am a Fabray.

Never mind that one mistake I made when I was just 16 years of age. It might have resulted on me falling from the top to the bottom of the pyramid but I quickly regained my status as soon as I stepped on my third year of high school and from then on, I never looked back. Oh well, that's a lie. I also had this crazy moment when I thought I could just manipulate the system just to get my kid back which did not really do me anything good. I barely escaped the law then when I tried to sabotage the adoptive mother of my kid. Yes, you heard it right. MY KID. Beth will always be mine no matter what Shelby says. She came from me for Christ's sake!

But getting back to the point. Last time I checked, I am not suffering from amnesia. So, now I ask: how the hell did I get to this point. This point being a nobody lurking in an alley, trying to catch the attention of a girl who paid me no mind since forever. Well, that's also a lie. What can I say? I am a compulsive liar above all the things I just told you.

This girl who I don't really get why I am stalking is the one girl who I think is the one who got away even though we never really got together, are you really getting my point? This girl had this effect on me. Unfortunately, because I still think Finn's imbecility is contagious, I only realized such fact a little too late. And when I say too late, I truly meant way too late. She being this huge star that she had been always destined to be. While the loser that I am is stuck at being…well, a loser.

Just to clarify, I haven't always been this way…a loser. After high school, I was accepted at NYU. I was that smart…academic-wise that is. Because as soon as I stepped into that god forsaken campus, I just had to waste my life away. Culture shock led to my self-discovery, whatever the fuck that meant. I discovered that there is there wholly different world outside of Lima, Ohio where I can just to whatever without anybody judging my every action. I could have escaped all the hassles that I received from that one HUGE mistake. DAMN YOU PUCK! Damn you for knowing if a girl was vulnerable to the point of insanity. Damn you for knowing what right words to utter just so you can a girl to sleep with you. Damn you for believing that you are better than your deadbeat of a father. Damn you for making me feel guilty for giving her up. Damn you for having a conscience and telling Shelby of my plans. Just damn you.

So I continue. New York was my savior once before I let myself get sucked into it rather than rising above it. I partied everywhere. I let myself be myself without any second thought. I was not bounded by any rules imposed by society or religion. I was emancipated from the restraints that I was so used to. Almost simultaneously, I came to the discovery of my true identity…I found the answer to some of the questions that have plaguing my mind. I am gay. And once I've embraced it, there was no going back for me.

This liberation made me decide to cut all ties I had with my former life. I got a full ride in NYU so turning my back on the family that never really wanted me was a piece of cake. The so-called friendships I accumulated were never intended to last beyond high school. It was indeed a chance to start anew and it was something I hadn't thought I badly needed. Be that as it may, starting from scratch was a struggle at first but once I got the hang of it, I knew I made the right choice. I quickly became addicted to this new life that I lost perspective of why I am in this city in the first place. I partied hard like there's no tomorrow. One night stands were my new drug. Years of repressing sexual urges made me want to make up for those lost times. The high I got from meeting people of different background, the truck loads of booze and the growing list of sexual conquests took precedence over my life that I didn't know if I'd be surprised or whatever when the grades for the first semester came out with "failed" remarks on each of my subjects. The full ride that was my ticket out of Lima was suddenly taken away from me.

Suddenly I found myself in a similar situation, homeless and with nowhere to go. Obviously, I could not stay in the dorm anymore. I went from apartment to apartment, seeking help from the friends I have garnered in a short period of time. But I always felt guilty for being a burden so I never really stayed for long in one place. I tried various jobs and am still.

For now, I am juggling 2 jobs, bartending and telemarketing. They are not the not the ones I ever dreamt for myself, far from it but they pay the bills and that's enough for me. More so when my passion is somewhere else and I don't get paid for it. I can even go to prison for this.

A commotion put me out of my reverie and there she is. She looks exhausted like every night after her show. But the exhaustion did not take away how exquisite she is. From my hiding place, I can a huge man escorting her to the waiting town car while a girl, who I know as Valerie, is per usual at her side. My girl is a huge star now, you know? Her life is a world apart from when we were at McKinley where she was treated like trash. Now, she has the world eating out of the palm of her hands. It seems everybody wants a piece of her.

But nobody knows her like I do, that I am sure of.

Even from my hiding place I can see through her. Years of interacting with her and being her tormentor have its perks. For other people, she is a ray of sunshine every minute of the day because of the mega-watt smile always plastered on her face. I am no such fool. That smile which she is exhibiting right this moment is her showface, just a showface. This make me laugh. How unfortunate for everybody else, right? They only get to see that. Me? I've been a witness of the true Rachel Berry smile, in its many forms. I merely have to close my eyes and the memories of those times rush back through my mind, making me smile.

I have seen her show several times now, I even lost count of the exact number. She is still magnificent on stage. But as I said before, I can see through her. The audience was in awe, like the second coming was unfolding before them. Ha! Had they seen her sing right after having her heart broken by that stupid Finn Hudson, I am sure they would probably build a monument in her honor right then and there. The emotions that were sincerely poured in that one song without holding back had left the entire room stupefied, no one even dared to speak or were unable to speak even if they tried even minutes after the last note. She was perfection personified. Looking back, I cannot even conceive why I was not able to see how amazing she truly is. But I know better now.

Rachel Berry. I'd do anything for her. Anything. Even if I have to do it from a distance. I am not worthy. I am afraid that I'll never be worthy. So this is enough for now. Enough despite the fact that my heart shatters every time I see her in the arms of another. It is enough, at the moment. But this will not hinder me from showing her how much I feel for her. I consider myself as her personal phantom. I would make her feel how loved and protected she is without her knowing my identity. I've done so many times and I intend to keep going until I feel that I am worthy enough for her.

The flowers before every show with a note, stating how perfect she is, attached to it. That one time when she was about to be attacked by an over-eager fan and she was quickly swept to safety and the attacker shoved away. I was so afraid that my cover had been blown; luckily, she was so in shock that she was none the wiser. Her security team was instated the day after the incident. The threats received by Hank Anders, that asshole who dared to lift a finger at her. I made sure the fucker would leave her be after I had a word with him. Nobody can harm my girl without suffering twice as much as what they had done to her.

She owns my whole being without her even knowing. For her, I am just a teeny tiny part of the earlier chapters of her autobiography. I breathe her, every single thing about her. She may not even be aware that I am still alive.

But it is enough. For now.

xxx


End file.
